David Szostak
By David Szostak
Ever since Adam and Eve people have been rebellious. As long as there is a law, someone will find a way to break it. Teenagers are especially notorious for testing the limits of their parents’ rules, but in reality every person pushes the limits of law throughout their life. This is why Psalm 119 presents such a paradox when it says:
“Oh, how I love your law!
All day long I meditate on it…
I claim your rules as my permanent possession;
for, they are the joy of my heart” (Psalm 119: 97,111)
How is it possible that the laws of the Lord can be delightful? Aren’t the rules and regulations of chastity the very things which keep us from the pleasures we desire so much? First we must seek what the law of the Lord is. Obviously the law of the Lord includes the 10 Commandments, which contain the prohibition of adultery and lust. And while these Old Testament precepts are invaluable, they only tell us what NOT to do. They don’t tell us how we SHOULD act. We must turn to the New Testament teaching of Christ to find His “new commandment”: “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you (John 15:12).” Christ loved us to the very point of giving His life for us on the cross. The Second Vatican Council says that it is only by imitating Christ in this way that we can be fulfilled: “Man…cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself (Gaudiamet Spes, 24).” The command of self-gift isn’t something that limits our freedom; it is the very thing which sets us free. It is what fulfills our deepest desire for meaning.
But how does this new command to give oneself relate to chastity? God has given our bodies to us—our very masculinity or femininity—so that we might make a complete gift of ourselves. Chastity is the virtue which allows us to temper our sexual desires so that we can give ourselves freely. It brings great joy because it enables us to love with ease. But anyone who has ever tried to live a chaste life will protest, “Then why is it so very painful to follow the law of the Lord?” When we begin to develop the virtue of chastity, each temptation can only be overcome with a great amount of prayer and effort. However, every time we successfully do the right thing, it becomes easier to do the right thing the next time.
Each time I successfully fought temptation, living chastely became easier. When I fell, I went to confession to receive forgiveness and the grace to do better next time. Over time, this continual cycle led me from struggling with serious sin to addressing the disordered desires of my heart. God continually helped me to grow so that my heart has begun to be able to love as He intended me to love. He has written His law on my heart (Jeremiah 31:33). No longer is chastity an exterior commandment.
The truth is, “Self-mastery is a long and exacting work. One can never consider it acquired once and for all (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2342).” The virtue of chastity only develops over a period of time through daily battles and frequent aid from the sacraments. But once this virtue develops into maturity, a person can make a sincere gift of himself with much greater ease, to the point that it is more desirable and more pleasurable to love than to lust. Even though there will always be struggles, I WANT to live chastely. This is exactly what Psalm 119 means: doing the right thing is pleasurable! Over the years, the law of the Lord has truly become the “the joy of my heart.”
Bio:
David Szostak earned a Master Degree in Theology from Ave Maria University
and is currently pursuing a doctorate at the John Paul II Institute for Marriage
and Family in Washington, D.C. He lives with his wife and baby daughter in
Maryland.
